


Enter Iron Man

by soccermom_max



Series: for a moment, the world came back to life [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Homophobia, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Interviews, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Non Consentual Medical Procedures, Not crackfic but definitely a lil ooc, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Trans Tony Stark, Transphobia, completely unrelated to twitter fic, happy pride month!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:09:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24865846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soccermom_max/pseuds/soccermom_max
Summary: Q: “How would you say it was growing up as a bisexual trans man in a conservative household?”A: “Howard—my dad—always told me I wouldn’t amount to anything if I were to come out as gay, and he liked to think my being transgendered was a cry for attention. He always said I’d never find anyone who would love me enough to stay. He loved to point out how I’d never live up to the amazing Steve Rogers. But here I am, banging his biggest creation. So, you know, take that, dad!”
Relationships: Howard Stark/Maria Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: for a moment, the world came back to life [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1802788
Comments: 6
Kudos: 104





	Enter Iron Man

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I’m not trans. I did my best to read blog posts from real people about the experience that comes with being transgender growing up in a queerphobic household and to portray that, but I don’t have any firsthand experience here. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated and I apologize if I end up misstepping or misrepresenting something. -Max

Howard Stark always had the best of intentions. Unfortunately, his ‘best of intentions’ never did anything but hurt Tony. The first time it happened was the day Tony was born with both a vagina and a penis, and Howard—who always desperately wanted a son—decided to chop Tony’s dick off.

It only went downhill from there.

Antonia Stark was a gifted child from the beginning, that much could’ve always been said, but young ladies were not to be involved in the games of men (much to Aunt Peggy’s chagrin, but what was she gonna do?). Young ladies were nurses, cooks, caretakers—definitely not inventors or- or sports people or something. Not that Antonia ever liked sports, but if she did she wouldn’t be allowed to play them. Instead it was ballet by day and sneaking into Howard’s at-home lab by night and most weekdays when he was at the at-work lab or on vacation or just generally avoiding Tony. Which seemed to be the running theme; avoidance.

Especially when Antonia preferred dismantling remote control monster trucks and robotics over Barbie dolls and cooking shows.

Especially when Antonia first expressed the pure hatred she had at her body for turning on her once she hit puberty.

Especially at the weekly-turned-monthly family dinners where Tony showed up in his grease stained tank top and cargo shorts, the days binder still in place, and all Howard did was look down his nose at Tony before turning to Maria and saying something about how “letting Antonia go was the only smart thing you ever did.”

Especially when Antonia came out to Howard as Anthony at age 18 and was promptly kicked out into a guest house.

* * *

**_EXCERPT FROM NEW YORK TIMES_ **   
_Anthony Stark - Jan. 2015_  
_Queerness Throughout the Years_  
_By Angelina Ramirez_

_**Q:** “I mean this with full respect, Mister Stark, but why is it that you’re so- so open about this to your fan base and to the media at large?_

_**A:** “No one should ever live in fear or shame of themselves. I would never wish it on anyone.”_

* * *

Anthony would never openly admit it, but Howard and Maria’s death was just as relieving as it was grievous.

The years following pass in a haze of drugs, alcohol, sleep deprivation, and various women coming and going from his bed and then suddenly it’s 2008 and he’s making the announcement “I am Iron Maiden.” The press goes wild, and he’s spending most of his public appearances trying not to shake from the anxiety of it all, the nerves of ‘they want me’ and ‘they’re proud of me,’ and Rhodey is with him every step of the way and when Antonia blurs into Anthony, Rhodey doesn’t even question it. It’s just him; it’s Anthony. It’s who he’s always been under the frilly skirts and dress shoes his mother and father would force him into, the part of him only two people in his life ever saw and loved just as fiercely as they did Antonia: Jarvis and Rhodey.

He’s made Pepper his CEO because, frankly, she’s always been (always will be) more qualified for the job than he is. It’s her very first interview and he’s decided to show up for support, because who do you think he is? When it happens.

“So, I guess you have to be pretty close to the grandiose Stark for her to just hand over the title of CEO.” The interviewer laughs. Tony doesn’t remember her name, but she’s got dark hair.

“Yes, once you get to know him he’s very kind, probably one of the best men I know.” Pepper doesn’t even catch her mistake, but Tony does. His face falls and his hands go clammy; he’s shaking.

The interviewer smiles a bit and tilts her head. “I’m sorry, men?”

Peppers eyes go wide, but it’s the only sign she gives that she fucked up. “I’m sorry, I overstepped. I meant miss.” The interviewer throws her a curious look but, Tony thanks whatever god there is, doesn’t pry.

And then 2012 rolls around and a fossil is pulled from the ice, and suddenly Tony has a whole new part of himself awaken. It’s after the battle of New York that it really hits him: he isn’t straight. At least when it comes to Steven Grant Rogers, aka Captain America, aka America’s Golden Boy he isn’t. How the hell does he keep getting into shit like this?

* * *

**_EXCERPT FROM THE GUARDIAN_ **   
_Anthony Stark - April 2014_  
_Growing Up in a Closet_  
_By Leslie Osbourn_

_**Q:** “How would you say it was growing up as a bisexual trans man in a conservative household?”_

_**A:** “Howard—my dad—always told me I wouldn’t amount to anything if I were to come out as gay, and he liked to think my being transgendered was a cry for attention. He always said I’d never find anyone who would love me enough to stay. He loved to point out how I’d never live up to the amazing Steve Rogers. But here I am, banging his biggest creation. So, you know, take that, dad!”_

_**Q:** “I’m sorry that happened, Mister Stark._

_**A:** “Tony is fine.”_

_**Q:** “Right, well, Tony, how would you say your mother reacted to you coming out? Assuming you did.”_

_**A:** “I never explicitly told her I was a man. It was never ‘hey mom, I’m not your precious little princess!’ It just sort of spilled out, really, that I hated my body and I hated what I was born into. I’ll never forget it, I don’t think, how she just seemed to crumble on the spot just- just sobbing her eyes out. I don’t know what I was hoping for, acceptance I suppose? Naturally, right? But, uh, no, that was the day she stopped showing me, I don’t know, motherly affection I guess you could call it.”_

* * *

The “I love you” and “I love you too” between Tony and Steve happens in early 2013, and it’s cliche, and cheesy, and everything Tony loves but will never admit to.

But the guilt has been eating away at him ever since. He’s happy with Steve, god is he happy, but he’s never fully himself either and it’s killing him inside. The constant fear of Steve not loving him as Anthony just as much as he loves Antonia—even just the knowledge of Antonia having never been real and solid in the first place.

Tony’s just like his father in that he always has the best of intentions, but the last thing he ever wants to do is hurt Steve. It grows unavoidable. They’re laying in bed when Tony blurts out, “I have something really important to tell you.”

Steve puts down his book—something about the Civil War, nerd—and looks at Tony. “What is it, doll?” Tony blushes; Steve knows just what that pet name does to him.

Tony takes a deep breath. “I’ve been so scared to admit it to you because I love you, and I don’t want you to leave me or- or think what we’ve had is a lie, but I’m trans. I’m not a woman, and I never was, and I need you to know that and I’m so fucking scared right now-“ He gasps, like it’s hard to breath, and realizes he’s crying now. He’s crying. He never cries anymore.

He’s shaking and crying and grabbing the sheets with white knuckles when he feels Steve’s hand cover his. “Is that all?” He asks. Tony sniffs, confused. “It’s okay, babe, we can deal with that together.”

Things are normal after that, which isn’t something Tony entirely expected.

The team is next. Natasha knew the whole time, Tony thinks, and just didn’t want to say anything for fear of scaring him away. Bruce is Bruce, supportive and quiet, and Clint shrugs and says “We fought aliens, pal, nothing surprises me anymore. I’m happy for you, though.” Thor grins, all teeth, and exclaims proudly, “My brother is gender fluid, Anthony! You would’ve loved him before he came into the influence of the tessract!” Tony isn’t exactly sure what to make of that one.

He’s not ready to tell the world at large, not quite yet, but maybe the concept wouldn’t be so bad.

* * *

**_EXCERPT FROM NEW YORK TIMES_ **   
_Anthony Stark - Nov. 2013_  
_Iron Man Enters_  
_By Jason Zhao_

_**Q:** “You arranged this interview today for an undisclosed reason, Miss Stark. Care to share?”_

_**A:** “Yes, and it’s Mister.”_

_**Q:** “I’m sorry?”_

_**A:** “Mister Stark, as in the masculine variant of Miss.”_

_**Q:** “I see! Congratulations, Mister Stark. I and the rest of us at NYT are very happy for you.”_

_**A:** “Thank you.”_

_**Q:** “So I guess this explains the Pepper Potts comment back in 2012?”_

_**A:** [laughs] “Yes, I think sometimes even my friends forget how far I’ve come.”_

* * *

The day Captain America came out as gay was truly a day for the books. If you could call it coming out, that is. It was during an interview about him coming out of the ice, and the interviewer was a Fox News anchor—because of course.

“So,” the interviewer, a stout guy named Lamb with a bad mustache, leaned forward in his stiff blue armchair. “How do you feel about the modern day relations people have with one another?”

Steve grinned, the fake one that still managed to make Tony’s heart beat faster but not nearly as fast as his natural lopsided smile, and rested an elbow on the arm of his chair. “I’m not quite sure what you mean.”

“Well, I assume you’ve heard of the LGBT movement? What I’m asking is if you’ve had any encounters with homosexual.” Lamb leered, face momentarily twisting in a second of faint disgust.

Steve cleared his throat. “I thought we were here to discuss the Battle of New York, or, you know, the events leading up to it? That seems important.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Lamb waves a hand dismissively. “Everyone knows the details of that. What the people want, Captain Rogers, is to know your stance on homosexuals. Or transgenders. The queer folk, you know?”

Steve scowled, and Tony could see the gears turning in his head. He wouldn’t risk this, right? Tony wasn’t worth this sort of risk. Steve wouldn’t out Tony like that.

“The avengers are open to anyone of any race, ethnicity, gender, or sexual orientation.” A shitty answer for a shitty question. Tony truly and deeply loved Steve a Rogers.

“So it doesn’t bother you?” Lamb asked, raising his eyebrows in question. Steve gave a half shrug, the grin finding itself back in place.

“Why would it?” He countered. “One could say I’ve had since the 30’s to accept that part of myself.” And the cameras went black.

* * *

**_EXCERPT FROM PINK NEWS_ **   
_Anthony Stark, June 2016_  
_Words of Encouragement_  
_Morris LeStrange_

_**Q:** “Mister Stark, first and foremost, you are truly an icon and beautiful inspiration for the LGBT+ youth of today and it’s truly an honor to be interviewing you!”_

_**A:** “Thanks, but call me Tony.”_

_**Q:** “Of course! You know why we have you here, right?”_

_**A:** “Probably for an interview.”_

_**Q:** [laughs] “Yes, sir. I think we at Pink News all want to know what sort of advice you’d have for queer youth.”_

_**A:** “First of all is coming to terms with yourself and coming out. I think in today’s day and age, coming out is being pushed more and more—and it’s not entirely safe. You should never be ashamed of who you have—or don’t have—sex with, and you shouldn’t be ashamed of your gender identity either, [but also] don’t come out if it isn’t safe. You know? And bind safely, please. Practice safe sex. All that jazz.”_

_**Q:** “I really appreciate what you said about coming out in a safe environment, and I absolutely agree, but it begs to question of why that’s so important to you?”_

_**A:** “Coming out to parents or caretakers who outwardly express a hatred of things that don’t fit their agenda... it isn’t fun. Or entirely worth it. [quiet laugh] No, I don’t think it is.”_


End file.
